Baby Steps to Mom

Elf Yourself.

Shine.

The hubby shared this video with me last night and I think it's just stunning... plus I have always loved this song. And! They used more than 700,000 Light Bright pegs to make it! Totally animation-free! Amazing. And what a sweet and sad and heartwrenching story to go along with it. It made me cry, but then again, I'm a sucker for these things- the song brought tears to my eyes long before I ever saw the video.

Thank you for overcoming this heart of mine, o God.

Shine by David Crowder Band.

Making an ASS out of U and ME.

I have learned a lot in the past couple of years about assuming the worst in people- in fact, in the past month alone, I've learned exponentially more than ever before. These things of course made me think about past incidents that resulted in broken relationships, hurt hearts, and disintegrated families.

What really breaks my heart is when you assume the worst... and it turns out to be true.

It's pretty nasty to be on one side of a situation and not be sure how much people know or what exactly they think of you. And because no one will address anything with you (even if you try), but you know they have heard all of the thoughts and opinions of the other side, you can't help but feel judged, hated, and merely tolerated. So you withdraw for a while because you don't know what else to do.

But then life happens, and withdrawal is no longer an option. And you open your heart to the possibility that perhaps these people do genuinely love you, and you are excited to see them again and hope they will forgive your absence. But when you find yourself in a room with them, you realize that, in fact, your worst fears were totally, completely justified from day one. You aren't loved, or cared about, or wanted in the least. You are merely tolerated because you married in to the family, and 100% judged by a jury of people who clearly will accept nothing short of perfection. 

You know they're trying to be subtle, but in fact, it is glaringly obvious. And maybe that was their goal. The coldness, the lack of interest in you, the fake smiles, the one-word answers. All from people who always welcomed you with open arms, were infinitely interested in you and your life, gave you warm hugs when you saw them. Now, they can barely look you in the eye, and only then it's after you have to chase them down to get so much as a hello.

And sadly, you now know that there will be no redemption in this family anymore. You have been judged through and through. You've made decisions for reasons that not one person ever attempted to understand. No, they choose to ignore the reality that there is indeed a second side to this awful story that we find ourselves in. That both sides were hurt, both sides are at fault, and only one side has apologized, forgiven, and attempted to build bridges out of a genuine want for reconciliation- not tolerance- reconciliation. No, what should have remained between the two people involved became everyone else condemning the non-blood family member. And they did a poor job of hiding how they really feel about you. Nope, you weren't fortunate enough to have that there "perfect blood" running through your veins. The kind where no matter what poor decisions you make or how badly you hurt someone else, if you have it, you are golden! You can do no wrong, and everyone else is the one with the problem!

No, it is never best to assume the worst in people, because 99% of the time you are wrong. I learned that I was wrong on three separate occasions in the past month alone, and that was a huge eye-opener for me. And it was only through honest and timely discussion that it ever happened. Looking back, I now see that the biggest thorn in my side was caused in part when I assumed the worst in someone who did something that made me feel as if I mattered nothing to her. I wish others would accept that they are wrong in assuming the worst in me before they decided to secure the noose around my neck and send me over the proverbial edge.

Does this mean I think I'm perfect? Absolutely not. But I don't know how else to prove that I am aware of my faults without compromising my own convictions and heart in the process. I'm putting this out there because there is clearly no desire on anyone else's part to have an honest, candid, difficult discussion about what happened. That being said, I expect nothing from this but more of the same. When you accept someone, you embrace the good, the bad and the ugly. But if all you choose to see is the ugly, then you lose. So I am going to let these people have their one-sided assumptions, but they can't have me- or my family- too.

Linnea vs. Shiloh

I went to a dear friend's baby shower this past weekend and LJ had to accompany me since Cody had to work (on a Saturday. Bleh). While there, LJ got her first celebrity look-alike comment: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. So I looked her up and I couldn't resist:

 

Kinda weird.

I don't know... here I thought she was just the spitting image of her dad... who is apparently the new Brad Pitt look-alike! Only without the wife-cheating and seventeen out-of-wedlock children.

Mommy's solo day out.

Ahhh... yes. The loner in me got to breathe a big sigh of relief on Monday when I got my very first "Mommy's solo day out." OMG... how I needed that. My mom and dad were kind enough to take LJ off my hands for the day so I could go out and do... WHATEVER I WANTED. I've forgotten what that felt like! Here's what I did:

Visited Last Chance. What a madhouse. This article sums up the experience nicely. I got two rad pairs of shoes for a fraction of their original price- SCORE!

Went to Macy's where I fell in love with and purchased a new backpack that we will be using as a diaper bag. It's perfect! Waterproof, lightweight, and SOLD OUT EVERYWHERE. Is it back to school season or something? I wasn't super nuts about the pattern initially, but it quickly grew on me. It's by Le Sport Sac, and in my humble opinion, with all the cloth diapers we have to carry around, it works so much better for us than the Petunia Pickle Bottom bag I was eyeing earlier this week... even though I love that pattern with an everlasting love.

I enjoyed my new favorite treat, fresh mint frozen yogurt with thin mint cookies, at Mojo Yogurt at the Biltmore. I'm slightly obsessed with this combo and think I might die if they ever stop carrying that flavor.

I ended my day by going to see this all by my solo:

 

And now... all I want to do is eat pizza and drink red wine. Therefore, to feed this craving, Cody and I will be visiting Pizzeria Bianco for the very first time like... right now. We will need a babysitter for this outing. Any takers?

I kind of can't stand the thought of waiting another second to eat their world-famous pizza... heck, if I can't go to Naples for my pizza like Julia Roberts did, this is no doubt a close second!

{Pizzeria Bianco photos via The Girl Who Ate Everything}

The hubby called and texted during the movie wondering where I was and I got back to him after the movie got out. He was in a tremendously good mood, considering the fact that I had been out having fun doing things like shopping and watching movies all day long while he was at work slaving away. Then I caught on that perhaps HE was enjoying his solo time too. And he was. So I took my time getting home so he could savor it while he could.

Needless to say, as much as I enjoyed my day, I couldn't wait to get back to this face and get home to her daddy.