Baby Steps to Mom

Simple living: What would you keep?

This morning there was a feature on the Today Show about a couple in Portland (with a very fun and interesting blog) who gave up all but 100 possessions, downsized to a 400 square foot apartment, and got rid of their car. See below:

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Of course it got me thinking. We live in such a materialistic society... would we really be happier with less?

My husband has always said that he wants to live simply. And I love the idea, but to be honest, I also love stuff. How shallow am I? Ha! But for a while I have been wanting to clean house. So here's my top ten list of things that I absolutely would not give up if I were forced to get rid of everything else besides the bare essentials (which includes at least one car- we live in the most sprawling city in the country- not to mention the hottest!- so a car is a must- even more so with a baby!):

1. My iMac. I make my living by this thing- not to mention it houses all of our music and photographs!

2. My camera.

3. My sewing machine.

4. My Amma's china set. She bought it one piece at a time while she was working hard and living in Iceland. Priceless!

5. These two Bibles (yes, I'm cheating): the first I carried down the aisle on our wedding day. The second belonged to Mum Mum.

 

6. The artwork that our friend Trish painted that was displayed at our wedding.

7. My Hummell music box... it's beaten up and cracked and worth nothing to anyone but me, but I used to fall asleep to its music every night when I was a kid. It's now in LJ's room.

8. This photo of Mum Mum and me.

9. Henry. 

 

10. This silhouette of Linnea:

I'll tell you what, this exercise sure does make you realize how much crap is sitting around in your house that is completely ignored and also makes you realize that perhaps you don't need all this stuff after all. But then again, even though we could get rid of so many things and never miss them, it's hard to imagine a virtually empty house... my head might explode. Is that wrong? Maybe we need a smaller house so it will feel more full with only the things we need... hmmm... I don't know. Either way, I prefer to live in a home that has character because of its decor. Do I need the decor? Nope. But because it's something I personally love- to be surrounded by beauty- it's meaningful enough to me to warrant staying in my home. Cody and I also love entertaining- so that requires a fair amount of kitchen ware and enough place settings for everyone. It's all a matter of what your priorities are- and that's different for everyone.

It's the things sitting in my closet that I haven't seen in ages that I question. And lots of other things.

Stuff isn't what makes me happy ultimately... it isn't what makes anyone happy. My family and friends and the experiences we share together are what bring me joy, and I'm sure you would say the same of your own. I think it's about time to start cleaning out our closets, organizing, and passing along the things we don't really need to others who would appreciate and have a need for them.

So what are your thoughts on this? What are some of the things you would never give up?

p.s. I think I would die without a car in Portland. Have you BEEN there? SO MUCH TO DO AND EXPLORE.

Jessica's baby shower.

Whew... what a week! Alex and I threw Jessica's baby shower today and it was so much fun! We went with a Vintage Circus theme a la TomKat Studio, complete with frilly and feathery hairpieces for the mom-to-be and smaller ones for ourselves. Our friends Rachel and Joy were so helpful in pulling everything together- not to mention it was held at Joy's AMAZING new home!

We hosted an open house as opposed to a formal shower with games, etc. None of us are big on baby shower games, haha. We had all kinds of food and drinks that you would find at a circus- popcorn, mixed nuts, candy, peanuts in the shell, Mexican Coke, and lots more. It was incredibly relaxed and good to gather with dear friends and Jess's family.

Here are some pictures... enjoy!

Welcome to your shower!

 

Jess LOVES Coke, so of course that had to be our featured drink!

 

An old-fashioned popcorn maker... so fun and SO vintage circus!
 

Joy and her adorable little peanut zippin' up the stairs!
 

Alex and me hostessing it up.
 

Jess and Joy.
 

Lots of fun presents... including a so-ugly-you-can't-help-but-adore-him, yellow, googly-eyed monster. Can you spot him? (I mean, seriously... how could you not?)
 

Another one of THESE? I'm not sure I can handle it... the cuteness, that is.
 

All of us girls after the festivities- Rachel, Joy, Jess, Alex and me.
 

Jess with her sweet mom and sisters and Cruzer.
 

Love this girl like a sister! Happy shower day, Jess!

We can't wait to meet the newest addition to the Williams family!

It's been A DAY.

Can I just be real for a second? Like... really, really transparent with you?

Today has been A DAY. The kind of day where I feel like I matter so little that I ask myself why I even bother. The kind of day where I want nothing other than to be understood and yet I feel like nothing I say will make anyone understand me. The kind of day where I seriously wonder sometimes if I am completely invisible unless someone wants something from me. The kind of day where one little thing happens and it brings back EVERYTHING that has ever made me feel the same way and makes me feel an inch tall, not to mention like I'm still stuck in high school. The kind of day where I just. don't. feel. GOOD ENOUGH.

Ugh. I hate days like this. This is not who I am... but it brings out the worst of my insecurities. What's my age again? Thank you Blink 182 for that profound question. I wonder that myself sometimes. One would think at 30 that this kind of crap would be behind me already.

When I was in elementary school all the way up to when I was 20, I had this friend who I considered my best friend. And repeatedly throughout those years, she would bail on our friendship and on me to go be BFFs with someone else. And then when that person bailed on her, she would come back to me and I would forgive her and be her best friend all over again- as long as she decided to keep me around, anyway. My parents and my grandma warned me over and over again to be cautious with this person because they saw how hurt I was every time I would get left behind. Maybe I was just obnoxious but I would rather lose a friend permanently knowing that I was obnoxious so I could change rather than wonder what is so wrong with me that someone can desert me temporarily, but keep me around for convenience. This went on many times until she completely wrote off our friendship when we were in college with a handwritten, mailed letter saying she didn't want me in her life anymore. At that point, while I was confused and once again hurt and wondered where she got off being so self-righteous and condescending, I felt as if I were much better off without this so-called friend, and I never responded and moved on with my life. 

It really sucks being used. The very meaning of that word in the context of relationships implies that, eventually, you get thrown away-discarded- without any regard for the fact that it really, really hurts.

Fast forward six years when she tracked me down on MySpace and asked for my forgiveness and for a restored friendship. And I forgave this person, truly, and we are again friends. But what I never made peace with is the effect that friendship had on me through the 12 years I endured never being good enough to be her friend after someone better came along.

Growing up as an only child (my brother and sister were grown and out of the house when I was born), I placed a high value on friendships. I still do, but as an adult I now have more solid boundaries. And I suppose the problem is that this hurt that I never truly processed has made me hyper-sensitive to unbalanced friendships and relationships and the rejection that accompanies them. Being treated like I don't matter to someone I hold in high regard is something I have a really hard time dealing with. Sometimes it's outright shocking and other times it's just like, "OK... but... seriously?" I don't blame my friend for the fact that I haven't dealt with things completely- that is my responsibility. It's just what happened. What I am learning in light of this is that balanced friendships are rare, valuable and definitely to be cherished. The rest deserve respect and kindness but in the end don't really matter, because they won't be there for you when you need them.

OK... enough with the pity party. This is also the kind of day where I totally need to get over myself. I know this all sounds incredibly narcissistic- half the time the things that hurt me aren't even about me- they're about the other person. That's another thing I've learned as I grow older. When all is said and done, I'm fine... I just need a hug from my husband when he gets home from work tonight. Tomorrow is a new day.

I know that Linnea will mostly learn from her own mistakes. Now that I'm a mom, I understand that as much as I want to teach her the things I have learned and protect her sweet little heart, experience is going to be the best teacher. I can only pray that she is guarded from being too hurt and that she is wise in her decisions. I can guide her and teach by example. But that will require first that I make peace with my own past, and make the most of the days I am blessed to have. God willing, I will someday fully experience where my true worth lies- not in the opinions and insecurity of others, but in Christ alone. I have searched and searched and no matter who I encounter, another person will never value me as much as my God does. The same is true for all of us.

Are there things in your life that you haven't made peace with yet? Would you be willing to share? If you're a mom, or soon-to-be, are there things you want your children to know based on your experiences? Sometimes, even if the situations are completely different, it's good to know that other people are human and have things they have to deal with too. I normally don't do this, but... today, I just had to get this out.

On another note, I am really thankful for these people:

Bri, Brett, Cassie, and Matt! These are the folks in our small group... and they are simply wonderful.

I am also thankful for this person, my BFF through thick and thin, through all my highs and lows:

This girl is the real deal- God has shown me his love, friendship and loyalty through her in big ways. I would not have kept my sanity all these years without her listening ear and no-nonsense advice. If she wasn't on a ten-day camping trip with her hubby this week, I probably would have unloaded all of this on her and you wouldn't have had to read any of this long-winded nonsense. Ha!

First trip to the ocean.

This post is waaaaaaaaay overdue, but too cute not to share, nonetheless. Linnea's first time seeing the ocean. Thanks Jess for taking these for me!






She was only five months old at the time- it's hard to believe how tiny she was, and how fast she's been growing! Also, I'm not gonna lie: I think she hated the ocean. It was a little too loud and a little too cold for her tastes, but with time I'm sure it'll grow on her! That, or she'll be a mountain lake kinda girl, just like her mama.

My rainbow 30th birthday bash!

In case this picture doesn't say it all...

I had a totally fabulous 30th birthday party! It was so wonderful having my family and many of my friends there to celebrate with me. It meant so much to have everyone there, and I missed everyone who couldn't make it.

It was a lot of fun putting together all the details! Because I have always loved rainbows, and my favorite collection at the TomKat Studio is the Rainbow Party theme, I researched colorful inspiration and decor, and here's what I came up with. I only had my point-and-shoot, so please pardon the less-than-worthy quality of these photos! 

The dessert table:

 

Rainbow Twizzlers and the Cake Pops I made a la Bakerella. I switched up the red velvet for a rich devil's food instead.
 

This is my Amma's wine cake: AMAZINGNESS ON A PLATE and my special request for my birthday. It's my favorite cake by far and it was a huge hit at the party! I dressed it up with a rainbow of handmade tissue paper flowers, a craft I found in the Martha Stewart's Encyclopedia of Crafts:
 

Inspired by Amy Atlas's InStyle feature- which was a super exciting time for us at TKS as it included some labels designed by Kim- as well as the 107-degree weather, I included a sundae bar on the dessert table. My favorite combo? Chocolate ice cream with caramel sauce and sea salt.



 

I fell in love with this rainbow of glass bottles my mom and I found at HomeGoods:
 

Made a whole rainbow of poms- these will come in handy for future parties as well! Have a color theme? There's a pom for that.



 

Made a rainbow tutu for Linnea. Somehow it ended up on Hanalei halfway through the evening:
 

I couldn't resist these silly moustaches... and neither could Ryan and Alex. How much do you love her skirt? We went on a little thrift shopping excursion a few weeks ago and she found it at Goodwill. It was originally a dress and she turned it into a skirt- fabulous!
 

My goofy husband: who needs a moustache when you can have ridiculous eyebrows instead?
 

My dad made it to my party. That made my whole night.
 

We asked people to bring either their favorite beer or their favorite pot luck item, so we provided our family's all-time favorite sandwiches: Mum Mum's ham buns. It's a secret family recipe, so no, you can't have it! ;)
 

The vuvuzelas... ha!

 

And, of course, who can forget my favorite part of the entire party? Linnea dressed up in her rainbow tutu and bow! She couldn't possibly be any cuter, just FYI.



Such a supermodel.

Thanks to my hubby, my mom and my Amma for helping put everything together. And thanks to everyone who came from near and far. It was such a blessing getting to celebrate with you!

Now that the house is back to normal, I'll begin planning Cody and Linnea's birthday party... 99% sure I have the theme for that one picked out! But I have nearly six months to plan this one, so I think I'll relax for a little while :)